Howdy yall!! What a crazy week this has been and it has been quite the rollercoaster in pretty much every aspect. I'll be honest, this week started out at a real low. Unfortunately on Monday, there was a school shooting in our area where some of our youth attend school that ended in at least 1 death that I know of 😞 We even drove right past it during it. This was quite the devastation to the community around. However we have seen the Lord's hand this week and miracles still abound. We have incredible friends that are progressing excellently towards baptism at this time. And our ward truly do love us and we have improved member trust so much! We met with our Bishop and he started it out with saying I have heard great things about you two! That meant a lot to us. There were lots of exciting things that happened this week still with many miracles too! I got to watch general conference with our new member Kenny and our friend Bryan and also some wonderful members! We also went to our first crawfish boil which yeah still don't like seafood lol but it was cool! And had lots of fun doing tons of member work and teaching their friends and families. But today I wanted to write about a smaller, more personal miracle that helped me change my attitude and thoughts. 

The beginning of the week started out a little rough for me mentally I will be honest. It ended great though don't worry!! Elder Salyer and I were training Elder Fletcher to transition into a full time teaching missionary however on Monday night he told us he made the decision to no longer continue forward. So we are back to a duo! A short lived training experience that despite it's challenge was fruitful I feel. 

I also found myself struggling personally with comparison again. It felt as if for a moment that I was unable to do or accomplish the things that others were accomplishing. I found myself questioning my goals saying, “if they believe they must improve more, then how much more do I need? Are my goals not enough? Am I obedient enough?” I was also struggling with looking at the opposition we face in our area. The majority of our records we have on people are marked as not interested and that can be discouraging when it feels impossible to find someone. And we had been really struggling to find through traditional methods the week before. 

I have been keeping this journal given to me in Seguin that has blank pages with no lines. Since then I have been using it as a get it all out journal where I write every single thought. After brain dumping all of my lamentations and sorrows of what was around, the spirit guided me to write other things. I started to write the things I was grateful for, things acknowledging my own growth, and wrote a prayer of my desires to the Lord. It was no sooner when I was impressed to study a general conference talk and I simply started scrolling through the list of hundreds of talks on missionary work. 

One specific one caught my eye and in that moment the Lord answered my prayer and provided this small but impactful miracle. It is titled “Don't Look Around, Look Up!” By Elder Yoon Hwan Choi of the Seventy. I liked this quote from it:

“Do not lose your faith because of the people around you, but build a strong relationship with Jesus Christ. Don’t look around, look up! …Go out in the rain, look up to heaven, open your mouth, and drink it! When you look up, you will be strengthened to open your mouth to everyone without any fear.”

Wow this talk helped me that day so much. In that moment I felt successful. I reminded myself that through me and Elder Bazil's efforts last transfer we helped our friend be baptized. And that is more meaningful than anything else I have accomplished on my mission so far. This talk also helped me to set goals more realistic and stretching for myself without feeling influenced by other missionaries goals. 

I also was reminded then that because I was feeling the spirit the Lord reassured me that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I would regard my mission so far as a rather spiritual one. I truly do “feel” the spirit and I think that for me it takes a lot for me to lose it. And that is because I am grounded, even anchored, in my faith on the Lord. I know He lives. I know He is with me. I do not doubt that for a second. On my mission the spirit has given me words to say, has guided me to the right people in the right places, and helped me overcome personal adversity. When I met Kenny, the spirit told me this one was different than all the hundreds I had taught before. And Kenny was baptized, so that was the gift of discernment. And I have received all of this according to MY degree of obedience, but more importantly my faith and firmness. God blessed me with a baptism and all of these spiritual manifestations and all of these miracles because I KNOW HIM and I trusted in him and not in my own skills. 

Something I have learned is a person can improve in an attribute or habit all they want, but if they do not know Jesus Christ, and I mean really KNOW Him – then they will hit a limit. Without having a personal witness of Jesus Christ and unshakable trust in Him the cycle of improvement of the same thing over and over again is no longer iterative (meaning improving each time) but repetive and limiting. An invitation I have to those who read, is do you really know him? How do you hear Him? I went through a lot to get my testimony and yes some parts sucked! But now I will never falter. How did you get your testimony? Did you wrestle with the Lord for it? How do you know this is true? Ponder upon, pray, and in time answer those questions and I promise you will find those successes you desire. You can't earn your way to a miracle but you can trust more in Him who creates them. Focus less on how can I improve myself and instead focus more on how can I improve my testimony of Jesus Christ? It will be Him who creates the miracle you desire. Not you. This is the greatest truth I have learned. I love all of you and I hope this invitation brings you the same joy in my savior Jesus Christ I feel right now!! I hope you each have a wonderful week!! ☺️

With Love,

Elder Noble

(Pictured below are some highlights! Our District of us and our sisters! Us at the crawfish boil. Us with Kenny during conference. Us with the Busch family, Lange family, and Elder Redfords new members he helped baptized. Us with Brother Freddy Miller the coolest member ever in the stake 😎)