Today is Day 50 of me being a missionary! So sorry its a long email yall! It's crazy to think about how much has been done in such a short time! I've been here in Texas for just about a month now, and been gone from home for more than a month too. And while lots of cool things happened this week specifically, I want to share more just about what I have seen happen in the past 50 days and what has been going on with me as a person even. 

First off, every single day I am connected to Jesus Christ. Whether I feel Him for just 5 seconds or for hours, I know he is right here with me in all that I do. I have felt the spirit daily in one way or another. Often times when I testify of Jesus Christ and when I choose to help others. As a missionary we tell people they may have felt the spirit before when they pray, read the scriptures, and come to church. And I have been doing those things for much longer now than just 50 days, but since I say that so often, I get lots of time to actually ponder on it and think hmm I really did feel the spirit when I did that. 

My most common way of feeling connected to Jesus Christ before I go to work, is reading the Book of Mormon. I've come to understand the book is so much more than just words and principles. But it is also a direct line for guidance and inspiration from the Lord for me on that specific day. The Holy Ghost has the power to bring all things to our remembrance, and so there have been many moments where I am prompted by the Holy Ghost to share a verse I had recently read that I may have even just glanced past not thinking much of it, but this power is real. I am currently on my fourth read through of the Book of Mormon, and at this point I feel like I don't really learn any new story or fact, but I do recognize something special each time and am learning new ways to liken the scripture to my life in the very moment. Daily reading for the past few months, and especially as a missionary has had the most positive impact on me as a person.

I have also noticed a change starting to begin in me. Before I left people would ask me lots do you think you'll change this or that or say yall or something along those lines. Which yes! Yall and Howdy are becoming regular vocab words lol. But I have felt a literal change in my heart that I have recognized. While in the MTC I was witness to seeing Charity shine bright in my companions and it really inspired me to seek out this christlike attribute. Charity is the pure love of Christ. I have learned that it's not something I can “obtain” or “get.” Instead, Charity is a gift from Jesus Christ given to those who earnestly seek it. So every day in addition to asking God to have his spirit with me while I teach, I also ask to have Charity. 

Which I realized I am beginning to feel Charity for others and am starting to finally understand what it means. I have been to so many places that before my mission I would have been disturbed or afraid to even go near, and yet now I am starting to press forward and look past that. I find in these homes and places, fellow children of God. And they are in need of Jesus Christ and they need my support. Not my judgement. I have sat on the couches of many, and have listened to their cries. I have prayed for many in their homes. I have been to hospitals to visit the sick and to offer blessings of healing. I have been to people who just got out of prison and jail and I have befriended them. I have gone and taken time out my day to sit down and talk to the homeless and support them. I understand now what it means to mourn with those who mourn, and to comfort those in need of comfort. 

Not all days do I feel this way, but they are becoming increasingly common. I am changing as I seek Jesus Christ daily. I can't even really put it into words but it is a pretty special and joyful feeling. And the only reason I share this is because its probably been the happiest part of being on my mission so far is experiencing that. I've felt so much joy and charity makes being a missionary easier. And I feel a lot like the prophet Alma with his exclamation he made in Alma 29:9-10

9 I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.

10 And behold, when I see many of my brethren truly penitent, and coming to the Lord their God, then is my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what the Lord has done for me, yea, even that he hath heard my prayer; yea, then do I remember his merciful arm which he extended towards me.

The last thing I want to say is that I know Jesus Christ. Out here in Texas, nearly everyone says they follow Jesus Christ, and its been fascinating seeing how many profess the Trinity and yet say they know God. A fundamental part of the man made philosophy of the Trinity is that The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit are one being that are not made up of time, space, or matter because God made those so he can't be made of them and thus you can't really know him. The source of the trinity says “God has no body, he has no parts, and he has no passions.” People who truly believe and know what the Trinity means are content with the “mystery of God” and that we can “never truly know.” And that is completely fine for them to believe that and I do not care if they do or do not. 

But what I believe is that I know my God. He is my Heavenly Father and he has a body of flesh and blood just like me, one of his beloved sons, and he is glorified and all powerful. And I know his Son, Jesus Christ who knows me perfectly and knows not only my sins but also my pains, afflictions, and temptations. And I know of the Holy Ghost because I have felt his presence. Together they are one in a united Godhead that rules as one force over everything. And I know that to be absolutely true because I have a personal relationship with God. To me when I hear God is the trinity, an unknowable being that is not made of time and space or matter, I can only help but think of what the Apostle Legrand Richards said:

“That means that he has no eyes; he cannot see. He has no ears; he cannot hear your prayers. He has no voice; he cannot speak a word to the prophets. Some of them even say “he sits on the top of a topless throne.” How absurd! To me it seems that their description of the god that they believe in is about the best description of nothing that can be written.”

I know that my God does have eyes and can see me, and he has ears to hear me. I also know he has arms to reach out and hug me with. Most of all I know he loves me. And he loves all of you too. And I promise you, that if you feel God in your life, then we know the same Jesus. Your just being blinded by the world and the traditions instilled in you. Sorry for the long email yall. But if you had made it this far, know God loves you, he sees you, and I believe that one of you reading this, was meant to read this today.

With Love,

Elder Noble